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Well...I get to go home tomorrow for a long weekend after my first January term. It has definitely been an interesting January....I've spent the past month being sick (twice), recording some new music with Noah & Brian in our yet-to-be-named band, taking a class in music of diverse cultures, AND playing a nun in Suor Angelica. I've been working my way through Numbers (slowly, I might add) as well as reading John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart. I saw David Crowder Band in concert, recorded my audition tape for keynote (with screamo!), and yesterday I ran around Greenville, SC with Sam and Brian. Sooooo much fun!My devotional schedule has been so out of whack all month, so I promise to put up some more substantial posts starting in February. God bless!
Hey! Check out my friend Sheldon's myspace. He's a talented drummer and guitarist, and his vocals have come a long way!http://www.myspace.com/scluvsu He just finished writing and recording a techno/metal fusion album for a school project. And you can hear me on two of the tracks posted. I played violin on 'When Stars Collide' and you can hear me scream about halfway through 'Face the Fate You're Fake.' I had a great time recording with him and I can't wait to hear the whole album.Oh, and if you need a pick-me-up, listen to the 'Big Bag' remix. It's pretty sweet. :)
Here is a fact that some of you know but don't want to admit: you are screwed up.We are all so messed up. Honestly, look at us. We lie to each other, we hurt each other over and over again, we say horrible things, we don't put others above ourselves, much less God. And why? Why do I use sarcasm to hide what I really feel about someone? What gives me the right to say hurtful things to someone just because he hurt me? Why do I always say "good" when someone asks me how I am doing, even if I feel awful?Fear.I am so terrified to be myself. I don't want to let people in because I have been hurt in the past. That's the risk I take in getting to know people. I want to know them and I want them to know me...but they were probably just as scared as I was. We are scared to appear vulnerable to others that we guard ourselves with callous remarks and sarcasm. We don't want to have our hearts ripped to shreds again. And everyone of us has had our heart broken in some way, so we are all equally screwed up. But when I am the victim, I forget that the person who hurt me is probably just as hurt as I am. And when I feel threatened I don't take the time to remember that. Ephesians 4 provides a great model for how we should treat each other, especially in regard to conflict.'Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'-Ephesians 4:25-32 NIV [italics added]I am always struck by verses 26-27 that tell us not to sin even though we are angry. Our anger allows Satan to get a leg up on us and make us slaves to our emotions. Anger is so destructive to my spiritual life. How many nights have you spent lying in bed, frustrated with someone? I've wasted so much time stewing over frustrations. And verse 27 tells us to do something about our conflicts. Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24 that even if we are offering a gift to the altar, if we have wronged someone we must make it right above all else. That is how important settling a conflict is; it takes precedence above everything else going on. But if meeting with the person isn't possible, the verse in Ephesians is telling us not to go to bed angry. Present your frustrations with this person to God. Pray for them and forgive them. Seriously! Then, and this is the hard part, let it go. LET IT GO! Trust that it is in God's hands and you don't need to keep stewing over it in your head. As I said earlier, I have wasted so much time replaying my anger in my head. It is hard for me to write this because I am admitting openly that I am not perfect. Although, who is? I try to act like I have it all together because everyone else does it too. The truth is that we are all broken, messed up people. The sooner you admit it and submit that piece of yourself to God, the sooner you allow Him to heal you. 'Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.'-Ephesians 4:14-16
