It's time for true devotion

Well I am back in South Carolina. In less than 9 hours I will be moving back into my dorm room. In a way it is comforting to be in a somewhat familiar place for once. Again, this is my first time as a returning student, haha! I know where everything is, I know people, and I won't feel so out of place. Yet something isn't quite right.

The more I think about it the more I feel like this place isn't right for me. Let's face it, I am by no means a southern belle. They are pristine and polite. So in a way I am still trying to understand how I fit in to this place. I'm also still trying to figure out how to live like a woman of God...whatever that means. How do you find the middle ground between judgemental and free-spirited? Prude and hippie? Bull horn and daisy (that probably only made sense to me)?

I did all my summer reading and then some. It was eye-opening and wonderful but I feel like I should have taken more from it. I think a part of me wanted this past summer to be really amazing and life-changing, which for all I know it was, just not in the way I saw it. It seems like everyone I know got to be a part of this larger picture of the kingdom while I was doing laundry in Fox Chapel...one day a week...for minimum wage.

And in spite of the arguing and drama the most redeeming quality this summer had for me was my time at FCEC. I got to lead worship twice, co-lead a girls book study, plan an amazing goodbye party for Dudley, hang out with 3 year-olds at VBS, drink dozens of cups of caribou coffee, and go feet-first down a water slide...in a silk dress. I tear up just thinking about those kids. They are my passion. I would do anything to see them smile and hear them laugh. (ok, now I am crying thinking about them)

I did a lot of me-work this summer. And I pray that some of it spilled over into my work at FCEC. I'm learning to be more patient and better at expressing how I feel, especially concerning my male counterparts in ministry. Shutting down is not an effective display of communication. Instead of getting frustrated and assuming the worst I need to stop, pray, then talk it out. PRAY being the most important part. I want to spend more time in the word and less time sitting aimlessly at my computer (this doesn't count...in fact I want to blog more...especially with more devos as this was intended to be).

I can see myself in music ministry, leading worship in a church service as well as rocking out in a worship concert. That is still what drives me. I'm also beginning to feel drawn towards youth ministry. I love talking to kids about God and thinking of fun and creative ways to show them how to apply the word to their lives. Plus the little controller in me loves to organize! One night this summer after dinner we went back to the church at 10:30 because I really REALLY wanted to organize the former youth minister's office. We were there for almost 2 hours cleaning, sorting and organizing...and I was EXCITED! Haha!

Who knows...maybe this summer was just a stepping stone towards something higher...



"They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
-Acts 2:42-47 NIV

What is your life? You are a mist...

Well it's the end of May and I've been home for a little over a week. I made it through the most difficult semester of my life and I just discovered that I didn't fail any classes (YAY...although I came close in piano). Most of the stuff from my dorm room is still sitting in the foyer of my house. I think I feel weird only because I haven't gotten into a routine yet. I've done a little unpacking and a lot of sitting around. My passion for reading has fizzled since I've been home, which I kind of expected. That needs to be remedied before I say I'll put up devos more frequently.

So here are my plans for the summer (God willing):

1. Read A LOT!
On my list for the summer are Shane Claiborne's new book "Jesus for President" and A. J. Jacob's "The Year of Living Biblically." I have some ABR (Amazing Bible Race) reading to catch up on. I've read from Genesis to Nehemiah, but I need to go back to pick up 2 Kings and 1 & 2 Chronicles. I'm also still in the midst of Barbara Hughes' "Disciplines of a Godly Woman" and Marianne Williamson's "A Return to Love." I'm sure a few more will make the list as the months roll by.
2. Voice Lessons
I'm travelling back to Spartanburg, SC 3 times before the school year starts in late August to take voice lessons for a few days at a time. My junior recital is on Sept. 12 so I need to be as prepared as I can. I love all of my music and I can't wait to perform it for everyone! So therefore this summer I will be doing a lot of...
3. Practicing!
My music is sweet but it's difficult. We've completely 180'd my technique over the last few months so I'm working a lot harder at being consistent with my breath support. It's so much better, but it's a lot of work! I'm hoping to be in a practice room at least every other day for a few hours.
4. Help out at FCEC.
My youth group is so broken up here. With our Rector leaving at the end of June, consistent budget cuts, low attendance, and the whole national church crisis, it's no wonder the youth feel left out. I'm getting a girls group together to do a book study and just hang out together since the boys have taken over the youth group. Any suggestions for a book? This is a great group of kids and I just pray that God will continue to work in them and make them stronger through this storm.
5. Get a job.
I think I'll be working at the Hartwood Restaurant, doing anything from front of the house to laundry. It'll give me something to do and make my dad happy.

Other than that things are pretty up in the air. Again, I try not to plan out too far ahead because as I have been shown time and time again God thinks my plans are funny. He likes to change them. I'll see at the end of the summer how this list turns out. I just want to grow in character and continue to be passionate about following the Lord. Anything else that comes along is just bonus!


"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
James 4:13-15 NIV