What is that to you?

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"
Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."
-John 21:20-22 NIV

I am the kind of person who hates conflict. It rips me up inside to watch someone I love go through a difficult situation. It hurts even more when I feel like there is something I could do or say that would make everything better. Lately I've been very good about waiting for that person to ask me for my two cents, but sometimes I will hand it out whether they want it or not. Why? Because in my mind I can 'fix' any situation.
In general we all want to fix our own problems and our loved ones problems instantly. Maybe you are watching someone go through a situation that you have already been through and you want to give them the easy road out. You know how the 'hard way' felt and you don't want to stand by and watch them go through it that way.

It's kind of like when your parents told you not to run by the pool or stick your finger in the light socket. But what did you do anyway? That's right, you ran and busted your butt on the wet concrete or you ended up with Albert Einstein hair and a numb finger.
The truth is that no matter what you have experienced and no matter how much you love someone, sometimes they just will not listen to you. And sometimes that is God's will for them. They may need to experience that difficult situation in the most painful way possible in order for him to build them up stronger than before.

And sometimes I HATE that!

But here's the point: as much as I want to, I can't 'fix' someone if God does not want to use me to help them. The best thing I can do is to focus on my own relationship with God and not become so concerned with everyone else's relationship. That is essentially what Jesus told Peter in the verse above from John. Jesus asks Peter point blank why John's future means anything to him. Peter should be concerned with following Christ instead.

We see a clear example of what happens when we interfere with God's plan in Genesis. In chapters 16-21 you can read the story about Sarah, Abraham and Hagar. Sarah was frustrated with God's lack of haste in his promise to build their family line:
'Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram,"The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her." Abram agreed to what Sarai said.'
-Genesis 16:1-2

Sarah took things into her own hands because she did not truly believe that God was going to keep his promise. And what ended up happening? Sarah resented Hagar and Ishmael, the son she conceived. The whole situation resulted in jealousy and turmoil between them. When we interfere with God's plan and his timing, we end up making a bigger mess of our situation. Even though our intentions seemed honorable, people will still end up getting hurt.

But praise God for the gift of grace! Nothing that we do can stump God. He works everything out for His glory. Our screw ups may be big, but He is soooo much bigger. In Sarah and Abraham's case, God did bless them with the birth of Issac, even though they thought it would be impossible to have a child at such an old age.


So the next time you feel the urge to meddle in someone else's situation; STOP! Evaluate your own personal relationship with God and ask him to watch over them. The best thing you can do is pray for them and ask God to guide them through. And at some point He may use you to help heal them. Only you can discern that by listening closely for His voice.
If you continue to follow Jesus you will be able to hear his voice more clearly.

Remember that nothing is impossible with God. (Luke 1:37)